Legends suffer many hardships in their pursuit of truth and change but they live long after they are gone.In fact they live for ever #manndela
May his always smiling soul rest in perfect piece.
PS:I never realised he loved his suits perfectly tailored.Take one look at this jacket and all you will see is quality.
He will surely be missed.
This dude and cheap polyester fabrics must have been joined at the hips during birth.And he is supposed to be rich?Money indeed can`t buy class/style #fact
Last week, I critiqued Peter Okoye`s polyester monstrously TACKY outfit to his OWNNNNNN wedding and very predictably he didn`t find it funny one single bit. Anyway he hotfooted to twitter to blasstttt (yeah yeah, I feel very blasted and remorseful now, lol) me with the intention of probably shutting me down for good but hey, folks have tried and folks have failed. Yup,like hell it worked (rolls eyes). When will these dudes ever learn that you don`t shut down the truth as the truth is like water and will always find its way? MINE AIN`T NO BLOG BUT A MOVEMENT and it takes a whole lot more to asphyxiate a movement. I implore any intelligent person to read the bit of that particular article which Peter found offensive and tell me where I was excessive; pishau no dey lie nah. Apparently he expected me to hold hands together with other bloggers and sing kumbaya while pretending everything about his style was hunky-dory? Noooooooo Peter, it wasn`t. Dude,you ventured forcing polyester down our fashionable throats and you would have succeeded except for ermmmmmm diarybyemmy.com.. Who ever wears polyester caftan to his own wedding and even forced same upon his groomsmen? Is this how unimportant the wedding was to you? Ngwa kanyi sua na Igbo kita. Kedu onye obioma kwalu akwa gi? Obulu na ilisi go ego maka agbam akwukwo gi, ikalu ikwu kanyi tukoo ego gotelu ezigbo akwa nu Nwoke m! Mba mba,imetoro ya, at all. You did mention I needed money for GLO airtime, perhaps you needed money to purchase a classy outfit, lol. With regards to me being frustrated? If I was frustrated before I saw you in that polyester combo,my frustration instantly increased by a tenfold.
Let me tell you guys a short story. As a teenager I got into all sorts of trouble but this particular one stuck to my mind ever since. It is no longer a secret that I was and still is a huge fan of Fela so I and my peers used to be frequent visitors to the shrine on Pepple Street,Ikeja every Friday for the Yabis night. Now,Yabis night way back then was a special night when Baba yabs everyone and anyone and he got yabbed back. It was funnnnnn Kai, Obasanjo bore the brunt of most of Fela`s yabis. To say that he hated Baba Iyabo would be an understatement but with absolutely legitimate reasons I must stress. The only downside of going to the Fela shrine then was that there were a few bad boys namely,Iron man,Kpansho,Gbenga Onibokun et al who use to lurk around the corner to harass cleanly dressed chaps like me whom they deem not to belong to the neighbourhood. They viewed us as trespassers and always wanted to impress it upon us. These chaps were really bad news and on several occasions I witnessed situations where they flicked out knives and harassed other teenagers to give up their fancy shoes in exchange for bathroom slippers. Oh,yes they had a kind side to them also, as they would never let you walk home barefooted hence they always walked around with bags full of bathroom slippers. It makes me smile these days when I think of them.
Anyway, I said to my pals on several occasions that the day any of those chaps tries their tricks on me would be the day that they will quit. Well, the opportunity for me to force them to quit arrived on a certain day when one of them, Kpanshio (the baddest of the lots,lol) precisely decided it was my time to give up my fancy shoes but I wasn`t having none of it. He then picked up an empty bottle and I picked one as well hoping to call his bluff, but before you could say Emmy, he broke the damn bottle on his damn head. Needles to say that I ran as far as my teenage legs could carry me while yelling out to my friend who was with me that he was on his own if he was still hanging around there. Why I did run you may ask? Well,if someone is wacko enough to smash a bottle on his own head during a fight, imagine what he could do your own head.
The moral of this gist is that you can`t bullshit a bullshiter or ridicule someone like me who ridicules himself with every given opportunity.I never take myself too seriously. So Peter Okoye simply” jammed” a brick wall when he embarked on the journey to ridicule me by asking “guys, who is Emmy Collins”. Perhaps,if he had bothered to ask his wife he would have discovered who I am or he might as well have done what most intelligent people do these days, ask Mr Google. That stupid act of his was indicative of Nigerians in general where people think “oh, I have money so nothing I do should be questioned. This is what I refer to as “do-you-know-who-I am mentality”. I was actually very nice on that post as I could have gone harder on him for daring to polyesterise a nation that has already been Ankara-ed and red-carpet-ed.
I have always known that Peter has a special relationship going on with polyester fabrics but I was honestly knocked for six to realise that he wore it on his OWN wedding,YUP YUP on his own damn wedding day. News from the grapevine also indicated that he insisted that all his guests wear polyester as he didn`t want anyone to look better than him hence the polyester avalanche at the wedding as the photos on this post will show. Shouldn`t we tag this “the polyester wedding of the year”?
Could it be that after spending all that dosh on his wedding, dude didn`t have any budget for clothes as I heard he splashed 150 million or was it billion on the wedding (yeah,right)?
Here I was feeling very happy for Lola but now I`m not so sure again what to feel for her because she is now saddled with baby-sitting this huge baby for life if the pledge “for better for worse” is anything to go by. I bet he sulks for weeks anytime he doesn`t get his way.
Peter needs to grow up; he also needs to go mess with someone else. More importantly and as a matter of urgency, he needs to up his style game a few notches.
Money can`t buy class/style,sorry bros,mba nu!
Damn,it rained polyester and dogs
Which heartless obioma fixed these garments?The tailoringggggggggg?Choi,Jesu Nwa chukwu
Kai,see trouser,see pose.Okoro-feeling-funkky situation
The jet that never was
I guess it runs in the family.Who advises who on style here,biko n?.Check out peter on polyester YET AGAIN while the rest appear to have had a great day shopping at Tejusho market.I no fit laugh.
If my houseboy decks himself up on this N200 per meter polyester to my wedding,he is so sacked
Feeling cool in Polyester land lol.I heard it rained polyester and dogs on the wedding day.
They even got Adebayor in on the polyester themed party/wedding
Style from gutter.Most Niaja babes look great in traditional outfits but this babe couldn`t even pull it off.I really don`t wanna see her in contemporary outfits
Just when I thought the Don was on his way to style redemption they had to get him involved in the Polyester mess.
Don,I forgive you this time but you must redeem yourself as you have often done lately
Polyester all over the floor
Winners and Losers week 49..Iyanya,Davido,Michelle Dede,Lillian Unachukwu,Rukky sanda,Monalisa,Toyin Lawani(queen of knock-offs) et al
Last week,I stupidly interpreted 13.00hrs to mean 3pm and as a result of this I missed my flight(very original of me,lol).Well,there could be another reason to explain why I missed my flight but this is my story for now and I am sticking to it unless someone comes up to prove otherwise,lol and NO, my editor doesn`t count as someone else and she knows why,hehehe.
Anyway,while chillaxing this morning I bumped into a link to a video purported to be that of uber narcissist,Kanye West going off on someone and so I decided to check it out.Apparently,in the course of viewing the video I discovered that Mr Rude aka imma -let-you-finish was only just discovering what any knowledgeable person in the fashion industry could have told him free of charge some years ago and save him all the aggravation and financial loss he has gone through,eyaaaah.
Kanye`s aggravation stems from the fact that he has expended about $13m,yes 7 digits,nah actually 8 digits (13 with 6 zeros behind it in dollars) trying to break into the fashion industry but doors keep slamming gbua in his face.If he had the right advisers,they would have intimated him with the simple fact that in fashion money is very important but the most important elements are talent,flair and class,all of which “Imma-let-you-finish” doesn`t quite embody.Fashion is perhaps the most snobbish industry out there and the big labels are quite careful with whom they are seen to be dining with.Traditionally, big brands are not really fans of rappers to say the least.I`m not a fan of rappers either as most of them only talk about materialistic stuff and no USEFUL message.Off the top of my shiny head,only a few rappers such as Pharrell Williams,Andre 3000,common et al might be accepted in the fashion industry because they possess individual style and are not LOUSY individuals who believe money is everything.
Let the truth be told, Kanye`s antecedents and choice of partners might be working against him as well.Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose aren`t exactly two names traditionally classy brands such as Chanel,LV,Marni,Gucci et al will be falling all over themselves to be linked with.
Let`s not forget the little fact that Kanye isn`t ermmmmmm,talented in fashion designing and can`t differentiate between music and fashion,period!I was unfortunate to view the awfully awful collection he showcased in Paris during his debut season some seasons back and couldn`t fathom this man`s audacity to actually believe the fashion industry will welcome him with open arms.Hmmm,it doesn`t actually work like that,Kanye.
Also, I’d like to quip in that Kanye`s shout of racism is absolute nonsense.I didn`t spend about 25yrs in Europe not to be able to recognize that people use racism as an excuse when things go awry.He had modelled for LV before and didn`t realize then that this is a brand infested with racists?Unfortunately, the furthest they can go with Imma-let-you-finish is to let him model for them but anything further will be frowned at and has in fact already been frowned at.He couldn`t even get a meeting with a deputy MD while he was in Paris.Kai,That must really hurt.
The link below will further explain what the fashion industry thinks about kanye while the second one is that of Kanye been obscenely rude to an interviewer who simply made a very intelligent and fair comment.
After watching the video,I almost felt sorry for Kanye but hey, I`m not that sorry for him after all he still has millions of dollars to console him.
To all the money miss roads in Nigeria,there is a lesson in this for you but just in case you are a slow thinker,I will break it down for you and say “money can`t buy you class”.I`m actually tempted to mention a few names here but I will remain nice this time,lol as people who fall within this category know themselves very well.
Remember how Karl Lagerfield took a swipe at Stella Mccartney in 1997 when it became public that she would be taking over as Creative Director at Chloe? Well, if you didn`t read that, he said “Chloe should have taken a big name”. He went further to opine “They did, but in music not in fashion. Let`s hope she`s as gifted as her father”. Karl Lagerfield could have been the only one vocal/crazy enough to have let this slip in public but it basically underscores the suspicion of the fashion industry towards any individual wanting to make a transition from music to fashion. Please, bear in mind that Stella Mccartney is a BONAFIDE alumnae of St.Martins College,one of the best fashion colleges in the world and yet she was made to prove herself before been accepted. Basically, my point is that if Stella with a rock-star dad such as legendry Paul Mccartney and those millions of dollar had to prove herself, then Kanye should quit ranting, get to work and prove himself but I`m not holding my breath as he hasn`t got it in him.
The link above will testify that the fashion industry has no room for charlatans EXCEPT in Nigeria of course.
On a different but serious note,I just had another look at the images taken from my fashion workshop and realized that the attendees were better dressed than the celebs that flock to all these nonsensical red carpet events.This is just an observation but it has an absolute ring of truth to it.
A quote from the newspaper review around 1900 when haute couture made a successful entrance into Paris was “For all those who offer sacrifice at the altars of elegance,brilliance,splendor and beauty”.Well,my honest opinion is that most people on the images below do indeed offer sacrifices to the altar of RAGGEDY-NESS and Toyin Lawani is the chief Priestess at the shrine of raggedy-ness while Toni Tones deputizes for her.
There’s nothing more ugly than when a trend picks up steam in Nigeria. Dignity of product loses its savour, its flair, when every person jumps on its bandwagon. Yes, the ardent following of trends happens everywhere in the world, but nobody does it much better or preferably carries it to much terroristic levels than Nigerians. There was a time when someone opened up a frozen chicken shop in my neighbourhood. Suddenly everyone else knew they had a frozen chicken vision and little shops for frozen chicken sprouted everywhere. Continue reading “The Overkill of Trends” »
As some of you may be aware,the 3rd edition of my pet project Fashion workshop was held at cafe Vanessa,former Auto Lounge last week. Apart from the fact that the turnout was immense, what I am most chuffed about is the fact that I have never met a group of people with such willingness to learn. The quest for knowledgewas so glaring. How we can deprive our youths who are ultimately our future, of this amount of knowledge or education in general baffles me. I was just going to mentor for just an hour as we were fast over staying our welcome at the venue but I must have spoken for about two and half hours. The types of questions they posed indicated that they listened and understood.
Winners and losers week48,Part1…Tiwa Savage,Mo Abudu,Celine Loader,Kate Henshaw,Chioma Ude,Ugonna Omeroua
Last weekend whilst listening to Elton John and Billie Jean King chat with Christine Amanpour of CNN, I overheard Elton John say something like “I hate the celebrities that are around today; the talentless, vacuous individuals who get paid millions for doing absolutely nothing while the talented ones are neglected” and then I thought to myself damn,this negative trend is not peculiar to Nigeria.The only difference is that when something becomes a trend in Nigeria, everyone hops on it. It is however not as bad in other countries as it is in Nigeria
Nigeria of today is the easiest place to become a celebrity because talent has suddenly been shoved down the ladder of importance when it comes to pre-requisites associated with becoming a celebrity. What has been pushed up the ladder however is nothing but unnecessary hype. Anyone who is serious about attaining the status of a celebrity in Nigeria should be well advised to acquaint himself/herself of the act of bullshiting i.e. taking pictures of your residence which might or might not belong to you and then forwarding it to the bloggers who are bereft of the necessary intelligence to say “what,a minute, how and when did this happen?You were broke just yesterday? And oh,he/she must ensure the title reads “Mr B builds himself/herself a multi-million naira house” or something in that direction.Alternatively, some prefer to visit USA, South Africa or England and then take a few photos which are in turn sent to bloggers yet again with titles such as “Mr B storms America”.Every time I read stories with such nonsensical titles,I just think to myself here comes the nitwit bloggers again.This chap/lass was perhaps so scared he/she might be turned back at the immigration when he/she gets to the destination as he/she was clueless about the process through which his/her visa was obtained by some iffy agent and now he/she storms America?
This blog has offered me a forum to put across my opinion on issues. Most of these positions of mine would never have been printed by any blogger or newspapers as they will be offensive or disagreeable to most readers who will rather pretend certain stuff are not happening even though they are obviously aware that these things are real. That is the positive bit about blogging,the negative bit is that every idiot with quarter of brain now believes the fastest link to easy money is blogging so they say anything just to curry favor. Based on this, I opine that bloggers have probably done more harm than good to Nigeria by glamorizing materialism.It is all about how much was paid for a car,house,wristwatch et al.Some even go as low as posting invoices.In the voice of Bob Marley,I sing “how long shall we stand aside and look” while this trend continues?
On a different note,this is week 48, we are fast approaching the yuletide and of course end of the year so I hope the first year of this forum has improved the knowledge of some readers with respect to fashion and their ability to ask questions and not swallow every rubbish fed to them hook,line and sinker.Yes,I know some so called celebrities(kai, I find it utterly difficult to use the word celebs in the Nigerian context of it) have borne the brunt of it as it has acted as a sort of check on their behavior/style and for that I am chuffed (I no fit lie) because that was exactly what it was designed to achieve. This shows we are on the right path. That said,let’s get down to the Winners and Losers of week 48.
PS: Most of the images on this post emanated from two of the just concluded events namely Multichoice at 20 and of course the big but utterly un-stylish one,AFRIFF awards.
This post was written,edited and ready to be posted last week but then the little naughty girl decided to run amok on twitter slandering my name. As a result of her childish banters and kindergarten squabbles, I decided to pull it down as I didn`t want to be seen to be responding to an individual who was so childish that she posted her sister`s shopping receipts on the internet. I couldn`t help but wonder what she was hoping to achieve by that act of mgbeke-ism. If this girl were to be my sister,I would have shut her down immediately and then demanded for a DNA test to ascertain that she is indeed my biological sister but hey,that is me.Anyway, my decision not to post this article had to be rescinded after reading a tweet from some idiot who alleged that Inyanya could be gay. It then occurred to me that I couldn`t afford to let little people with little myopic minds prevent me from posting articles as I wish on this blog because if I let that occur then that means they have achieved their original purpose.
I must say Inyaya`s response of “your father gay” was hilarious. Kai, we brew drama in Nigeria, don`t we? It is my utmost belief that if drama were to be some form of natural resources, Nigeria would rank amongst the top 5 exporters in the world.
Anyway,please find below the article as was originally written.
It has been my intention for the longest time now to do a piece on this subject but each time I commence on it, something tells me to let it slide and I usually listen to that inner voice. However, a recent conversation that transpired between me, a certain OAP and someone that will be referred to as Mr anonymous inspired me to write this article. Deep Down, I have always known that writing this piece was inevitable; as such it was more a question of “when” rather than“if”. As a result, I am chuffed to realise that I am finally about to get it out of the way. Continue reading “Is it REALLY that difficult to discern the difference between Metrosexual and Homosexual?” »
Winners & Losers WK47..Ruth Osime,Toolz,Dencia,Lola Maja,Rukky Sanda,Linda Ikeji,Rita Dominic,Lola & Peter Okoye
First of all, I must say thanks to all of you guys who made my blogging somewhat easier by sending links that contain toxic and fabulous images which I absolutely love to sink my teeth into. Your actions ensure that I don’t go digging for these priceless images thereby wasting precious time that could otherwise have been put into analysing them.To whoever started this INVOICE-GATE by forwarding the link to the Dubai shopping invoices to me,I say you are the absolute bomb!LOVE YOU.You don put me for wahala o but I LOVE you still,hehehe. Please, don’t stop.
Most of the images here were taken at the Butterscotch event.When I got the link to this event,I thought to myself that finally we might see something with a faint hint of class but, boy, to say that I was grossly disappointed would be merely stating what is obviously obvious. Sometimes, I just wanna pull my hair but then realise that the afro isn`t there anymore and then I have no choice but to go for the wall with head option.Yes,I occasionally do crazy stuff like banging my head against the wall when I`m absolutely frustrated and you really don`t wanna be in the vicinity whenever I`m in the head-banging-on-the-wall mood;yeah, it’s usually not a great sight to behold..
Stay with me people,I know you are probably banging your own head against the wall wondering what this nutter is on about.Well,my frustration stems from the fact that style seems to be disappearing fast in Nigeria.If I could sift through the entire red carpet images taken from an event such as this one held at what is arguably the most expensive event venue in Lagos without locating a single,repeat, a single image I could tag as absolutely fabulous then the situation calls for concern. This isn’t good for Nigeria.We used to be able to do a lot better when people were not making so much effort to talk and appear like other people. I mean, those times when it was all about quality and keeping it real.
This goes a long way to proving what I already discovered a long time ago which is that the beautiful ones don’t put up appearances at events anymore and who could blame them? As for me, I’m done with events as they are surely not worth the aggravation. And as for posing on the red carpet, I will sooner slash off my right thumb than participate in that.The photographers already know I don`t pose for photographs but two smart and goofy ones(I mean goofy in a good way here) know exactly how to get me but the unwritten deal with them is “you can take your shots but don’t push it by asking me to pose on the red,yellow,black,orange or whatever carpet”.
Anyway, without much ado, let`s deal with the photos emanating from the butter scotch event. I must warn you that they are not pretty so brace yourself.And oh,the “scotch” in the event name was very apt as some of the images were “scotchingly nasty”
On a positive note,the Lagos Free Fashion Workshop which held on Saturday,16th Nov. was an ABSOLUTE success.From the bottom of my heart,I thank all individuals who found it in their good hearts to put the word out.The turnout was very great and the attendees listened and understood.
I fee very opportuned to have interacted with such talents.Perhaps,this might be the time to commence on making the ultimate aim which is launching a PROPER C.M.T(cut,make and trim) unit in Nigeria a reality.It is gonna happen,people;watch this space….
Winners and Losers Week46..Ifeoma,Williams,Ono Bellow,Idris Elba,Mercy Johnson,Juliet Ibrahim,Rukky Sanda et al
My dear late mum had always feared that my big mouth would put me in trouble. There must be something in my DNA that doesn’t allow me to ignore toxic issues regardless of how much I try. Sometimes, just as I am on the verge of succeeding, I would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night to write on such topics. So,if you are wondering why I couldn`t be just as “SELFISH” as most of the bloggers and blog only about topics that will generate goodwill towards me from the readers, well, quit wondering as the answer is simply because I just can`t help myself,lolll. I am who I am and for this I offer absolutely no apology.Alternatively, let me rephrase that and say “please accept my apologies as I can`t offer apologies for who I am and what I am”.Am I making any sense?
Most Nigerians especially the Nigerian online community are quite predictable so it has been a tad too easy for me to predict the sort of emotions any of my posts would generate from the readers and I must say that I have been correct 90% of the time. Even if a post generates hate towards me or misconceptions about me,if I believe in it, you will surely read it here and this week isn`t any different.What I have done though is to try to keep it sweet, fun and articulate so that whoever is attacking my person instead of either agreeing or disagreeing with the points I raised will appear quite stupid and biased.
I have always tried to carve a niche for myself in all my endeavours including fashion which is my bread and butter so I`m afraid it is a bit too late for me to learn to conform to the perceived norm.
I have read about people basically insinuating that I am daft because I don’t conform to certain unwritten principles or because I don’t use my blogging medium to make money.Well in Igbo we have a saying that goes “agbacha oso aguo mile”(time shall tell). It is a shame that achievement in Nigeria is always calculated in Naira,dollars or pounds and never based on lives positively impacted by an individual.
Oopsy,I wanted to keep this week`s preamble short, I hope I achieved that,non?
Now let’s delve straight into the images and other stuff that transpired.
A couple of months or thereabout ago,Noble Igwe wasn`t exactly thrilled with certain posts I put up on this forum and unreservedly ensured that I and any other Nigerian that owned a computer or at least had access to one was made aware of his feelings. I on the other hand came out swinging in response to what I regarded as a premeditated attempt to shut me down as I have had similar experiences in the past. Of course this altercation between Noble and I became topics for discussion at dinner tables within the Nigerian internet community.
Now,although I wouldn`t exactly describe my feelings as ermmmm chuffed with regards to the path Noble towed in response to my apparent distasteful post, I maintain MAXIMUM RESPECT for Noble.In fact,Ekpulu m gi okpu, Noble (I duff my hat to you Noble.)WHY?Well,in a city where the prevailing and predictable reaction of folks to my unflattering articles is to hide under anonymous and haul insults or better still pretend to ignore me whenever I bump into them, even though they watch every single move I make from the corner of their eyes (guys I dey see and feel una, hehe).Noble was the only individual that was MAN ENOUGH to come out and say “Emmy,I think you are full of it”.This approach reminds me very much of Babangida`s response awhile ago when he was asked during an interview whom he respects the most amongst his critics. “Chief Gani Fawehimi, (R.I.P) of course” he said emphatically and intuitively. Now, we all know that throughout Babangida’s reign as the military President,Gani,(as his admirers loved to call him),was a thorn on Babangida`s flesh but the ex-president respected him regardless. Only a nitwit would wonder why I would have nothing but maximum respect for Noble or why Babangida still and will always respect Gani.
I`m most likely to have Noble amongst the first names on my dinner guest list than most of the spineless,ball-less individuals out there who are more likely to offer me rat poison aka tusa tusa for my tea than sugar.These lots detest most posts I put up because it questions their credibility or should I say “I dey spoil their market”?However these lots are too cowardly to come out in the open to put across their points.And Oh,they still pretend we are buddies but as Bob Marley sang,they Susu upon my back the minute I turn it.
In summation this post is my tribute to a real man,a man that felt aggrieved by something and dealt with it without letting it linger on for too long. Ever since this incident, I have met Noble a couple of times and on those occasions he had walked up to me and offered his hand which I of course RESPECTFULLY grabbed with both hands. What is there not to respect in such a man in Nigeria of today?Yes,Noble is the real Igwe and he will always have my respect and if you are reading this article now,I say to you “ this is the sort of individual you wanna be up against because with him you know what you are getting so you should have maximum respect for him too”.These sorts of individuals are on the ENDANGERED species category.
And to all those who wonder if jackets or shirt buttons will be popping all over the place or blows flying et al during a fight between Noble and I whenever we meet,well,we are sorry to disappoint you because that isn`t about to happen in a million years.On the contrary what you are most likely to witness are two buddies shaking each other`s hands in mutual respect.
I can`t help but remember the priceless but disappointed look on the face of a not-so-smart chic who walked up to me during the Lagos Fashion and Design Week following and sarcastically said; “your friend Noble is around”. Sensing she was fishing for some expected reaction, I replied”yeah, I know, we just shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.Anything else I should know about”? To me this was over the very minute I posted a rebuttal and I hope and believe Noble feels the same way as well.
People,give it up;it`s over. If you desire drama create one yourself.
Have a great day and always remember,“Put up or shut up”.
PS:Please,look out for winners and losers week 46 at some point today